And it has been some time that I have been honest with myself that everything I do, I do for him. And every opportunity I get is one he didn’t get. And every helping hand I get, he didn’t get. And every Divine Intervention I get, didn’t befall him. And so, it is with a very heavy heart that I know that in this place, I simply cannot stay. Because some places are not for staying. And it would be a waste of all of The Greater Good that has come my way to stay stagnant and motionless. Yet, I do not want to leave. It is agonizing. Some siblings are born conjoined- enmeshed together- perhaps at the sternum or the belly. It feels like he and I were born conjoined in Spirit and we are still attached. But I cannot stay in this place. My destiny calls. I hear it in the night. Whispering loudly. And so, it is with much unknowing that I go into this night moving my feet. Hoping he will follow me. Even if he doesn’t. I had once last glance today. I saw him outside the window. Sitting on the grass. Just sitting there doing nothing but looking beautiful. He looked back at me and mouthed the word: “GO.”
Fee Thomas is a poet and activist from North, Minneapolis. She doesn’t call what she does writing, rather she says “it is the loosening of her heart and Spirit.” Her favorite thing is sitting on the grass with her niece teaching her to play the guitar.
© Fee Thomas